Mrs Brit has recently been belting out Whitney Houston songs on the karaoke machine. In particular, lusty renditions of The Greatest Love of All have been echoing around the vast, crumbling chambers of Brit Towers.
Now naturally enough, my brain's protective filter will automatically block out any song which opens with the lines "I believe that children are our future", but nothing could prepare me for the trauma of seeing the lyrics appear on the screen.
I don't know about you lot, but I had always lazily assumed that this was a common-or-garden number expressing Whitney's amorous intentions towards a Significant Other.
But in fact, it is nothing of the sort - it's actually one of those grisly get-to-love-yourself self-help manual things which, I'm afraid to say, the Cousins specialise in.
The Daddy of this genre is of course My Way. My Way is a great song when sung by Frank Sinatra (all songs are great when sung by Frank Sinatra) but on close inspection stands revealed as the most dreadful pile of tosh. I'm sure we can agree on that, yes?
5 comments:
Amy would never sing "Greatest Love of All". It might convince her to go into rehab.
Since I don't like Frank Sinatra and finds his vocal styling annoying in general, I have never liked his version of "My Way".
Absolutely agreed.
NPR recently had a piece about Frank Sinatra's discography.
They also said "My Way" was dreadful.
I have a penchant for cynical lyrics such as Peggy Lee's 'Is that all there is?'
Sinatra's best, for me, was 'I will drink the wine'. We lost our recording of it many years ago and I haven't been able to find another but the words are a perfect antidote to all those sloppy songs you complain of, Brit:
Someone said, drink the water, but I will drink the wine.
Someone said, take a poor man, rich don't have a dime.
So fool yourselves if you will, I just haven't got the time.
If you can drink the water, I will drink the wine.
Someone gave me some small flowers, I held them in my hand.
I looked at them for several hours, I didn't understand.
So fool yourselves if you will, you can hold out your hand,
I'll give back your flowers, and I will take the land.
And I will drink the wine.
Sometimes I'm very very lonely, there's only me to care.
And when I'm very very lonely, I want someone to share,
I'm going to drink the wine, I'm gonna take my time,
And believe in a world that is mine.
Someone gave me flowers, held them in my hand.
Looked at them for many hours, didn't understand.
Go on and fool yourselves if you will, you can hold out your hand,
I'll give back your flowers, and I will take the land.
And I will drink the wine, and I will take the land.
I will drink the wine.
It's not that I'm cynical, I just find these songs refreshingly honest.
Whitney is only singing what we're all thinking:
'The greatest love of all is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself it is the greatest love of all'.
mee...mee... me me me.
Whitney has a new fan.
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