Thursday, June 03, 2010

Lane etiquette

Adjacent to our office is a small business dedicated to producing magazines about France and Australia. Its employees have been in about a year and they are, with a couple of exceptions, a snooty mannerless bunch who park their cars inconsiderately.

One swarthy chap in particular sometimes strolls about the lanes of a lunchtime, so twice or thrice I have passed him as he walks uphill and I down or vice versa. On each occasion I have arranged my face into suitable nods and greeting-grimaces, even preparing an “Afternoon” or a “Lovely out, isn’t it?”. And on each occasion he has completely blanked me, eyes fixed on the ground as if we were passing in Piccadilly Circus rather than a narrow country lane in the middle of nowhere.

I can only think that he’s a Londoner. At any rate he has no grasp at all of the unwritten but clear rule of Fleeting Greeting: you should always acknowledge a passer-by when it would be more absurd not to do so.

13 comments:

Sean said...

He might be Russian, in which case its par, or autistic.

Try a loudish "now then" from about 15ft as you approach, that should wake him up, and the customary nod as you walk pass.

Brit said...

Good idea, Sean. Will report back on findings.

Willard said...

Two men, alone in a remote country lane, one smiles warmly to the other, perhaps winks...

No wonder the other keeps his eyes fixed on the ground.

I'm just saying...

malty said...

Carry a copy of the Guardian, that's allways a good starting point for a chat.
"I see you're a Guardian reader then". Gales of laughter.

Peter said...

What did you expect from people whose models of courtesy are the French and Australians?

Brit said...

Nice one, Peter.

Peter said...

You should find an office beside folks putting out magazines about Canadians. They'd park in the street on the off chance you might need the spot and trail you to your desk to make sure you really are having a nice day.

The Old Batsman said...

Have you read these 'magazines'?

Brit said...

No but I've seen the front covers.

The Old Batsman said...

Are they bad enough to make him miserable?

zmkc said...

I've never seen a magazine about France and Australia - seems an unlikely juxtaposition. How to make kangaroo taste like entrecote? How to look chic in a drought? Derrida's take on Question Time in the Australian House of Representatives? Moliere in Mittagong? Or, looking at it the other way round: where to buy a billy-can in Paris? How to team Akubra hats with haute couture? Teach your cattle dog to organise the traffic round the Arc de Triomphe?

Brit said...

OB - well the concept seems pretty weak to me - lifestyle mags for expats and potential migrants.

However, ZMKC's Aussie-Frog merger concept is brilliant. Spend three hours creating an exquisite plat principal and then chuck it on the barbie.

Peter said...

...and wash it down with a few tinnies of Chateauneuf-du-Pape.