Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Fanatics (three different ones)

I have a horrible feeling that the party-fanatical elements of Lib and Lab think they really can form a Losers' Coalition which, because it is 'progressive' and therefore Good, has the moral legitimacy to run the country. This is very disconcerting.

I have in recent days been much disconcerted by fanatics. Fanatics are identifiable by their humourlessness, an intense stare and a conviction that not being 100% with them is being 100% against them. These are people for whom every conversation is a full-on, look-me-in-the-eyes discussion; at their homes you couldn’t just doss around watching telly, making idle chit-chat and cracking wise, you’d have to always be engaging. Fanatics wouldn’t be that bothered if you were killed, if you were also wrong. They end up fried and full of hate.

Alastair Campbell is a very frightening man; not because of his bullying nature or political intelligence, but because he isn’t fully human. Here (via Sean), is Adam Boulton finally losing patience with him. It does no good, of course.

And then there is Caroline Lucas MP. At this election Parliament lost its Respect MP but gained a Green one. It’s much the same thing. Lucas is particularly disconcerting because she is so obviously a Type: her vocal intonations, joyless haircut, even her feline eyes and cheekbones – you can tell everything about her straight away. This is rare and unsettling. Such people are usually the dictators of odd little radical committees that meet in art centre cafés or backrooms in libraries; they don’t normally win Parliamentary elections.

Finally, good old Dickie Dawkins, the man who equates every criticism of his own personal views with a direct attack on the entire history, method and project of science, believes that we should immediately have another election under a system of proportional representation. Well he just would, wouldn’t he?


malty said...

You could also add Brit that the Lucas type run London social work departments.

Mark said...

Lol, good post. Adding all the newspapers and their lurid images together, the story today seems to be about Madame Fifi and the Fruit Salad Coalition battling Nazi Neanderthals gripped by the Call of the Wild. The cry of "gooaaaal" may go up around 6 p.pm. Or it may not. None the wiser here.

worm said...

I still can't decide whether I like Brighton, or whether it should be erased from the earth in a cataclysmic firestorm.

David said...

There is a certain peace that comes from having, as your main source of knowledge about British politics, Yes, Minister.

Somewhere in deserted Whitehall, Sir Humphrey is sipping a sherry and thinking to himself, "a hung Parliament. Why didn't we think of it sooner."

When Greece calls, I trust Sir Humphrey, unlike any politician, to have the simple good sense not to answer the phone.

Sean said...

It might not do any good, but think of the therapy :0)

malty said...

David, the only way Greece can call right now is by reversing the charges.

Joey Joe Joe Jr. said...

It was good to see the labour rank and file respond quite sensibly to Mandelson and co's Machiavellian maneouverings. You could be right Brit, maybe the system's not so broke.

The Old Batsman said...

Worm, I'm the same. And she better not bugger up the ground at Hove. That's the one absolute preventing the erased feelings from ever taking full hold...

jonathan law said...

"You can tell everything about her straight away"

Well, I'm sorry Brit but I think you're just showing your own rather unseemly prejudices here. Admittedly the haircut does nothing for her, but I've known Sarah on and off since she was quite small and she's really nothing like the one-dimensional caricature you've painted:

1/ She has an encyclopedic knowledge of the rarer Islay malts and can drink anyone I know under the table(honestly, I've been there).

2/ She is a passionate fly fisherwoman and as such pretty ambivalent about the hunting ban. God, give her the chance and she'll go on for hours on about monofilament, tippet diameters, and the relative merits of Muddler Minnows and Woolly Buggers.

3/ After several Bunnahabhains she'll admit to being a fervent if closet monarchist with "an embarrasing crush" on Prince William (I've seen the scrapbooks and embarrassing is truly the word).

4/ If she is "fanatical" about anything, it is the later poetry of Ezra Pound, which she can quote at extraordinary length. The only time I've seen her get really violent is when someone glibly referred to the Master as "that crazy fascist".

5/ She looks adorable when she's angry.

6/ Some time I must tell you the full story of how she ended up converting to the Russian Orthodox Church. Trust me, it's a good one
--I think you'd be moved.

7/ For some years she played saxophone in a New Romantics tribute band with an awful punning name that for the moment escapes me. Actually, she wasn't much of a player but she's one of the few people I know who could make that look really work for her.

8/She won't thank me for revealing this but Sarah is something of an author! She is kept in handbags and designer shoes by a rather profitable series of spanking stories published under the nom de swish Silver Birch.

Alright I made the last one up. And all the others. But it would be nice to think that some of it might just possibly be true.

Brit said...

Also she's not called Sarah, but otherwise 10/10 Jonathan. You almost had me til number 2.