Tuesday, May 04, 2010


The BNP have pushed a leaflet through our door. Their local candidate, a pensioner called Brian (left) with an amusingly giveaway Hitler moustache, makes no mention of race in his Dear Voter letter, but promises to increase the state pension and immediately withdraw troops from Afghanistan. In stark contrast, skeletal teacher Rae Lynch of the Trade Union and Socialist Coalition promises to increase the state pension and immediately withdraw troops from Afghanistan and Iraq.

The far Left and Right could be factions of the same party. Perhaps when we complain that the three biggies are 'all the same' we should remember that the other available slots on the political spectrum are, apparently, occupied entirely by evil and/or stupid parties, such as the Greens. Or, as with Monty Python's election, there are only the Sensible and the Silly Parties.

That said, I'm reluctant to include the Lib Dems amongst the Sensible Parties. As for Labour, Nick Cohen attempts to dredge up a few half-arsed reasons to vote for them. That they're not any of the Silly Parties is the best he can manage - and one can't help the feeling that this is classic Cohen contrarianism, appearing as it does in the Guardian which has of course turned yellow. The Tories are the least worst option because they alone lack the ideological/paymaster-dependency obstacles that would prevent them making the necessary cuts to address The Debt Which Passeth All Understanding, which our great Chancellor-cum-PM has generously bequeathed to the nation during his 13 years of Prudence.


Willard said...

I would never have thought of the master race wearing a hearing aid and being called Brian.

worm said...

I've always thought that Hitler and Stalin were practically identical, despite claiming to be at opposite ends of the political spectrum.

My father informed me at the weekend that he will be voting UKIP - I was wondering, do they even have any policies apart from 'Johnny Foreigner's money is weird and not to be trusted'? - I can't even be arsed to look at their website to find out.

Sean said...

The Monster Ravers are the pick for us northern types.

Channel Tunnel extension to Rotherham will do the trick and get this Sad country back on its feet, Personally I would like Brown to dig the first 100 yards with his bare hands, that's of course after I conduct an experiment on Gord, with Garth acting as observer, on how Water Boarding can and cannot be torture, depending on how you do it.

Mind you I have to say, I yearn for the high New labour watermark when you could write your own cheques when tendering for HMG work.

What a useless rabble Labour have been?

Mark said...

A safe Lib- Dem seat round here so there's been no campaigning at all. Zilch. The appearance even of an octogenarian stormtrooper with fire in his colostomy bag would pep things up no end.

This been a phoney election, I'd guess. The real one will start amid barrage of strikes from the public sector Luftwaffe over the summer.

malty said...

You apply hammer to nail with millimetric precision Brit, the least worst option, rock / not quite so hard place, not as painfull as it was this morning, less loud than the other lot, it wasn't quite so expensive as we thought.
Ah, the very Englishness of it all, the putting on of brave faces, making do in the face of adversity, the beaches, ready for the onslaught, the sound of Merlin engines, outnumbered by the snarling BMW vee twelves, our Churchill tanks ground into the mud by Konigstigers and yet we persevere in the face of overwhelming odds, over the hill is slightly greener, less barren than the ground upon which we now stand,
this England, this knackered isle.

Anyhoo, screw Labour and the other mob, vote Dave, Dave is good, Dave is green, Dave is fragrant, Dave is English, married to a strapping English lass, none of your foreign Johnnies here thank you very much.