Monday, October 05, 2009

The Thief of Time

I take virtually no interest in Grand Prix (it is the anti-sport sport) but yesterday morning I caught an interview on BBC 1 with Jenson Button, during the course of which he said something along the lines of: “I was carving whole chunks of time out of the guys in front.”

Instantly I quailed, stricken by a vision of some supernatural villain, probably Noseybonk-faced, stalking his victims with a diabolical scythe, every cut and swish of which slices a decade from their precious stock of Time, leaving them prematurely wrinkled, saddened, gasping and limp. Ugh.

Yeah, sorry for burdening you with that nightmare on a Monday morning.


Uncle Dick Madeley said...

There's nothing better than the clichés of professional sport. You should try Sky Sports News for a couple of hours.

worm said...

whoops, logged in as one of my alter-egos there!

The really tragic thing is that his definition of 'whole chunks of time' is probably one hundreth of a second - approximately the time added to a driver's lap by hitting a particularly big bumblebee.

Formula One is the most mind numbingly mundane sporting spectacle ever invented by mankind. It is far far more boring than darts, snooker or even bowls.

It is a watercolour sport.

Brit said...

Your secret is safe, worm. F1 is a sport for people who like spreadsheets.

Anonymous said...

I don't know. No jarring made-up verbs, good evocative Anglo-Saxon lingo, no time-filling banalities, no drivel about just wanting to have fun and drive "his" race. I kind of like it, I think.

Let's see, I'm driving to the office soon. Gonna carve me some whole chunks of time on the way. Vrrrooom!

Yes, I think I do like it.

Sean said...

I think the main prize will go down to the wire, as long as the team get the job done,it will i suspect still be nip and tuck, its a sport of inches, But its not a new ball game, the same rules apply to everyone.

Jensen has to stay focused and remember the clock is not the enemy, he has to keep the monkey off his back, I think he dodged a bullet in japan, he is now within striking distance, let hope he does not bottle it.

The rest will have to scratch and claw their way back into the game.

worm said...

couldn't agree more Sean, you've got to be in it to win it

Brit said...

At the end of the day first is first and second is nowhere, so you pays your money and takes your choice, really.

malty said...

F1 is as amusing as synchronized swimming, or reading AA Gill.
The ultimate motor racing dialogue (must have been added later) was of Derek Bells 1980s record Group C Nordshliefe lap, a circuit where it's best to make out your will before proceeding, Derek Bell..."ooh, there's the castle up there, that is a glorious sight, the Eiffel are at their best at this time of year, ooh, here's the Flugplatz". They don't make them like that any more.

Six minutes thirty seconds as you're asking.

Hey Skipper said...

F1 is a sport for people who like spreadsheets.

Try imagining riding along.

And not regretting having forgotten to wear your Depends.

Brit said...

I don't doubt that actually being one of the F1 drivers is exciting. The business of F1 fandom though, is essentially the discussion of technical minutiae. Each to their own etc.

Hey Skipper said...

I empathize, but don't really give a damn about the minutiae.

Which means, no doubt, that I am not a proper fan.

BTW -- And not regretting having forgotten to wear your Depends.

I meant the royal "your", as in mine, too.