Thursday, January 07, 2010

Abnormality Tolerance Index

This is the second day in succession that we’ve been snowed out of the office. I appreciate the bonus holiday of course but I’ve discovered that my Abnormality Tolerance Rating for snow is 1.5 days. This is the measure of the time it takes until the disruption to everyday routine ceases to be fun and a desire for things to return to normal commences. Today I have no great wish to throw snowballs, build sinister snowmen in the back garden or comment on how different everything looks.

This puts snow surprisingly low on my Abnormality Tolerance Index. Selected other entries rank as follows:

Lazy beach holiday – 16 days
Olympic Games – 5.5 days
Blistering heatwave – 5.0 days
Skiing holiday – 4.5 days
City break – 4.3 days
Walking holiday – 4.2 days
Being a guest – 3.8 days
General Election Campaign Coverage – 3.6 days
Being a host – 3.2 days
Christmas – 2.5 days
Snow – 1.5 days
Coach tour - 1.2 days
Stag do - 0.8 days
Camping – 0.6 days
Spectacular thunderstorms – 0.5 days
Fireworks – 0.2 days


monix said...

Change of plans for my next visit - reduced from 4.35 to 2.6 days! I am fed up with the snow disruption now that we are running out of food and the dustbins are full but it still rates higher than blistering heatwave.

Gaw said...

What an excellent metric. Poor old you, though. I'd guess there's at least another hundred days worth of general election coverage for you to fail to tolerate.

Sean said...

On the spreadsheet again then Brit?
Maybe you could turn all this into a powerpoint presentation.

malty said...

Relocating to Dalvik would be a no-no then Brit.
Christmas is the mix that sets off my pressure relief valve prematurely, followed by a recent discovery (forgive the pun) people who remorselessly drive around in their off roaders, just to prove that they can.
It is the considered opinion of the people who gave birth to these things that they have become the default mode of transport of the sociopath.

The centre of Melrose ground to a halt today, a Belhaven brewery lorry delivering to the golf club was stuck on the hill.
Someone had their priorities sorted.

Sean said...

I forgot, Tolerance of that effing Thomas Cook / Jamie and wife Redknapp advert 0.211 seconds.

Peter Burnet said...

Cry me a river, wimp.

martpol said...

Watching TV programmes about people with abnormal appendages, medical conditions or levels of body fat - 5 minutes

My wife's rating for the above - forever

newpsalmanazar said...

You realize that's nearly five hours of fireworks?

Braggart. I don't think I could last more than one hour.

worm said...

uh oh, according to malty I am a sociopath! although I cant say Ive ever driven round in my car just to prove that I can...I own an 'SUV' because I'm rather tall and I need the headroom!

back on topic, my lazy beach holiday tolerance is about 3 days, TV tolerance has fallen to about 10 minutes , and assembling flat-pack furniture to about 5 minutes. Tolerence of listening to my partner talk about women at her workplace I've never met before may have actually gone into negative

Brit said...

The possibility of negative intolerance raises a philosophical conundrum.

But be that as it may, partners talking about work, annoying telly and SUVs would all properly come under 'normality' and therefore don't appear on the ATI. Indeed, these are the amongst the things to which one yearns to return during periods of disruption.

Sophie King said...

Abnormally long BBC weather reports showing English people being incompetent in the snow and using the word 'plummet' - 60 seconds.

malty said...

Pah ! southern snow, call that disruption, at midday today an RAF helicopter froze to the local hospitals helipad after delivering a casualty, that's disruption.

All afternoon it could be seen hovering at one thousand feet, the Borders General dangling from it's wheels.

Gadjo Dilo said...

I'm amazed that you can stick even 0.2 days of fireworks - I love them but kinda always feel that less is more.

Sean said...

Under normal circumstances Jamie and Louise trip to the Caribbean would be just that normal, but after 3 days of virtual isolation I think Someone is taking the Pish.

Hey Skipper said...

The possibility of negative intolerance raises a philosophical conundrum.

As with most conundrums, you just have to approach it from a different angle. E.g:

Just the thought of filling out tax forms causes me to risk blowing an aneurysm.

Todays word verification: ockynois

The sound I make just as the aneurysm lets go.