Friday, June 05, 2009

JPFC Westwood versus America

The mighty Mike Nelson links to the John Portsmouth Football Club Westwood horrorpost, sending over a swarm of bemused Americans to gawp at the freak.

This is the second time that Rifftrax has linked to Think of England, thus instantly (and briefly) increasing its hit rate by an order of magnitude. The other time was to that story about the bacon.

I feel a certain responsibility here, as an ambassador for Britain. I don’t want to create the impression that Britain is just all lunatic soccer fans and bacon butties. Admittedly, lunatic soccer fans and bacon butties do make up a good part of it, but we also have other stuff here, such as Nectar points, Basil Brush, Dame Judi Dench and lots of mostly crap pop music.

Better get used to it, too, America. If Gordon Brown doesn’t throw in the towel in the next few weeks, we’ll all be coming over to live with you and Obama.

We will all cram aboard an enormous fore-and-aft rigged three-mast barque, Jamie Oliver in the galley, Sir Ian McKellan in the crow’s nest, Stephen Fry at the mizzen and John Portsmouth Football Club Westwood as the furious figurehead, ringing his bell and shrieking: “The British are coming! The British are coming!”



6 comments:

Peter Burnet said...

Make sure you leave room on the ship for the guy with the castle and moat, will you? I shall want him around when our next legislator is accused of using public funds to upgrade his kitchen.

The Old Batsman said...

In the picture has someone just asked JPFCW if he has a copy of Fly Fishing by JR Hartley?

Brit said...

Heh heh. Would have been a good caption competition, that one.

Speech bubble: "Yes sir, the poetry section is just over there on the left, next to British Flora and Fauna."

malty said...

The mind boggles, the irony of it, 05/06/09 oodles of yanks ogling the footie ground, 05/06/44, oodles of yanks ogling the channel.
Wot goes around comes around, as Paris said to the bloke with the camera.

Gaw said...

I've realised now: he's full of woad rage.

Sorry.

martpol said...

Brit: You forgot David Attenborough in the diving bell.