Over here, Nige (who presumably stuck his offspring in a shoebox in the cupboard under the stairs, Potter-stylee) claims that "no one needs a nursery" because "they're strictly for the movies."
Can this be true? Is the Ikea-going, book-culling and attic-filling I'm about to do for the benefit of the impending sprog a complete waste of time?
Is a nursery a superfluous Hollywood invention? Why does everything I know turn out to be wrong?
Please answer any or all of the above at your earliest convenience.
20 comments:
I never had a nursery as a child. If people in the uk keep following these alarming US trends pretty soon we'll all be decorating our 'Rumpus Rooms' and having 'Basements'
What is a nursery but a bedroom full of twee clutter and sick that you'll have to repaint in a few years?
A nursery's a nice idea (provided there's plenty of room for books of course), but in my experience it seldom sees much of its intended occupants, who are more likely to be found in bed with their exhausted parents, worn down by apparently life-threatening howls of outrage form the 'nursery'. These can be kept up for hours on end by a sufficiently determined baby (of which we had two, the second of whom didn't once 'sleep through' till he was 16 months old). Best give in...
The first major setback caused by the acquisition of a nursery is that the thing has to be decorated and fully fitted out, entirely as per the instructions of the clerk of the works (aka the wife). This involves expense, time and effort, both. When push comes to shove and , as per Geordie folk lore, as soon as No 1 is down the slipway the keel for No 2 has to be laid, surprise, its a different model, the process starts all over again, different colours etc.
As Nige points out the chances of it being fully occupied are slim, more often than not it becomes a storage area for mountain bikes, crampons, rope, placky boots and lawnmowers. Given our time over again I would go on strike rather than.
Here Brit, just twigged, nursery + Mrs = baby!
Congratulations to both of you. How did you find the time with all of this blogging going on.
Good lord, this is incendiary stuff. (I have had my suspicions that a key motive behind Mrs B's nursery insistence is to have a really cute room to show off to her coo-ing/jealous chums).
It's also irrelevant stuff since I have no say in the matter. My role is strictly manual labour.
(Thanks Malty - it's due in mid July and on Friday we get to find out which flavour it is, all beeing well).
Your first then, Brit?
Yes indeed. So the world is about to end/begin, depending on who you talk to.
Begin Brit, believe me.
I was hoping you'd say that. Thankee Nige.
Brit, you may be about to enter the period of avalanche of advice, all well intentioned, mostly conflicting. All I can say is that they are life enhancing bringers of joy, the noisy messy little twerps. Later on they become expensive and call you by your Christian name.
Already well into that phase Malty but I gratefully accept all nuggets of wisdom and experience, espcially from my imaginary blogging chums.
Kids are great; they can't be beat.
Seriously. Don't beat them.
You get into all sorts of trouble.
As for "nurseries" I'm not sure that I know the difference between a nursery and a bedroom. Both of our offspring lived in our room for their first six months and then got wheeled down the hall to the rooms in which they still reside. We have changed the beds, but not much else has changed.
And by changed the beds, I mean that they no longer sleep in their crib, not that we've only done the laundry once in the last 16 years. I'm certain that it's been more often than that.
"Nuggets of wisdom and experience"?
Well, in the spirit of the Welsh triads here are Three Things All First-Time Parents Buy (And No Second-Timers Bother With).
1/ Baby monitor. Was there ever a more superfluous device? If Brit Jr wants your attention you'll know about it soon enough. Also, they crackle and howl with feedback and pick up every minicab and pizza delivery service in town.
2/ Bottle sterilization kit. Boil a kettle.
3/ Stairgate. If you live in the Mines of Moria or some Piranesian dream palace, go out and buy one. Otherwise, they're pointless and counterproductive. The sooner a toddler learns to cope on the stairs, the safer he/she will be.
Of course you'll buy these things anyway, to be on the safe side. And then you can enjoy passing on the same advice in a year or two's time.
On the general qusetion, there's not much point in pretending that children don't trash your life as you know it, and pretty well comprehensively. But they do it in so many and various and interesting ways that you end up wondering how you tolerated your untrashed life for a moment.
"Nuggets of wisdom and experience"?
Well, in the spirit of the Welsh triads here are Three Things All First-Time Parents Buy (And No Second-Timers Bother With).
1/ Baby monitor. Was there ever a more superfluous device? If Brit Jr wants your attention you'll know about it soon enough. Also, they crackle and howl with feedback and pick up every minicab and pizza delivery service in town.
2/ Bottle sterilization kit. Boil a kettle.
3/ Stairgate. If you live in the Mines of Moria or some Piranesian dream palace, go out and buy one. Otherwise, they're pointless and counterproductive. The sooner a toddler learns to cope on the stairs, the safer he/she will be.
Of course you'll buy these things anyway, to be on the safe side. And then you can enjoy passing on the same advice in a year or two's time.
On the general qusetion, there's not much point in pretending that children don't trash your life as you know it, and pretty well comprehensively. But they do it in so many and various and interesting ways that you end up wondering how you tolerated your untrashed life for a moment.
David - it's a baby's bedroom that will then become a child's bedroom, I suppose. However, our house is not large, not large at all. Turning the study-guest-Playstation room into a nursery is a big sacrifice.
Jonathan - much appreciated. Now if you or someone can just give me the precise opposite advice I will be back to my normal and comfortable state of bewilderment.
Sprog generated priceless moment...No 1.
A tiny white Greek church perched atop a hill, blazing hot morning, the smell of pine trees, wafting out of the church courtesy of our seven year old daughter "happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear daddy...."
No, I don't know either.
Sprog generated priceless moment No 2, the Bonatti Pillar, a ledge, about 2500ft of vertical space below, howling gale, junior joins me, a tangle of frozen rope, ice screws, friends, out comes comb, then "did you bring the crisps dad ?"
As soon as Brit Jr is old enough to read, have him reading my blog. Introduce me as Uncle Elberry or just Uncle Dog, as my nephews/niece call me.
When my blog has sunk in, out comes the line: "if you're bad, I'm sending you to live with your uncle." - instant compliance to your whims from then on. Tantrums dispelled with the single word: "Elberry."
Brit, no need to give you all the advice at once. Your blogging friends further along the father-learning curve are standing by ready to give you daily counsel well into the school years and beyond.
I must say, you don't seem to be off to a very good start. Fussing about whether a nursery is necessary misses the whole point, which is whether Brit Jr "deserves" the nursery in his mother's eyes. Suggesting that he is too young to have earned the right to deserve anything would not be a good move. She may be humouring you with your airtight logic now, but if she doesn't get it there is a good chance she and the baby will share your bed for a few years and you will encounter loving suggestions that you would really sleep more comfortably on the sofa.
Next question?
Your world is about to end *and* begin. It's like puberty, but with far less sleep.
I'm with David - you might as well have a nursery and just turn it in to the kid's room later on. Plus, it's a good place to have all the toys and other baby clutter so it's not cluttering your place of rest.
As for the stair gate advice, we did without one until we got a dog. Then we got one to keep the dog from tracking on the upstairs carpet, and to keep her from eating the kitty litter.
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