Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Thoughts of Poddington

My infamous Why the Scottish Hate the English post really is the gift that keeps on giving, in terms of random comments. I sometimes delete the overt filth, but even so there are now 90 on there, mostly rabid anti-English or anti-Scottish rants. However, over the last few weeks one 'Poddington' has been conducting an extraordinary Beckettian monologue, or perhaps dialogue with himself.

Sample passages:

...The greatest battle I ever heard was the Norse vs the Saxons - I believe, at Essex.Hence, where the great merits of both people was truly established, i.e. the Norse for their bravery and the Saxons for their loyalty.Look at Germany too, they were different peoples not so long back. However, they became one and now they are doing rather well. They seem happy together, yet, I do not live there so I do not know if they have the friction that we have.Yet, let me not forget, I am not an expert on the numbers of Norse and Saxons and so forth in all the great battles. However, what did they do in the end? The royal lines married and there by brought peace and an interlinking of the two peoples.There has been some wars in Britain and Ireland, above are just the tip of the ice berg as the term goes.

...I apologize for my style, grammar, and spelling on piece above. To be blunt, I was absolutely knackered and I did not know whether or not, this site only gave you a certain time-frame in which to contribute.Oh, furthermore, not to cause offence with the term "Dummies," in the sense of folk that simply have additional needs - slight or severe. It is actually quite outdated now; however, it was a common term when I was child. Yet, again, not used much because such a term can break hearts can it not? Poddington

...Look upon Europe as Tesco and split apart as little corner shops. Which is it that gets the finer deal at the wholesalers...? Correct - Tesco.

..Hooliganism seems to have died now in England. That was simply the hardcore guys getting the rest into trouble.It was still a total disgrace mind.Now I am finished. Poddington.

Right,This is the last piece I will write.Where to start...

...I am going to write another two pieces.

...Is it true... Smooth looking men are in fairy-tales and rugged looking men are in the communities of the real world, with all its harshness and troubles.For, they do not quite fit into the smooth type do they? I cannot imagine them walking into a bar and asking for a Rose wine.Yet, please take this in jest if you do like a glass of Rose wine.

....My writings seem not so good to me... I have not reviewed the latest ones, I am firing from the hip, as the term goes. I get the feeling that they are a little rough and rugged. I feel that way. Hopefully, you will be able to see that I have tried to write from a humble disposition. I will admit though, that I am tired of all the problems that we face through being different peoples and the history that we have. However, I believe our history is a success story when you really look into things.

...Like I say though, I am not an expert on many of things I have written and I think in the future I will pass contributing.So, take my writings with a pinch of salt; however, I am only off by a tad if anything.

...One thing many folk in the UK do not realize is that Scottish Whiskey has been one of Britain's biggest exports for more years than I know, i.e. a serious number of years, possibly one hundred. It is staggering one way or the other.Poddington

It is well worth popping over to marvel at the ongoing work that is The Thoughts of Poddington. You will learn about the mysterious 'Man from Cleveland', the quality of Australian iron ore and the noble Irish-Norse race. Go down to the bottom of the comments and work your way up - somehow it's even better in reverse order.


worm said...

you've got your own rainman!

Recusant said...

Get that man the aphorism-monger spot at the Dabbler before he goes global.

Brit said...

He's still going strong - more Poddingtonisms tonight.

Please don't interrupt him; I don't want to scare him off.

Brit said...

Oh dear, Poddington has turned out to be a white supremacist. Shame.

Rob said...


Adelephant said...

Good grief. Where did he come from?

David said...

I'm not sure that that is the oddest thing I've ever seen on the internet (these are probably still the oddest things I've seen on the internet), but it is definitely odd.