A goose not dissimilar to the one pictured above patrols the entrance to the yard of Dave’s farm shop. It and I have taken a dislike to each other. It fancies itself as a bit of a watchgoose. Or perhaps a nightclub bouncer goose, and indeed it conveys this character so convincingly that when I approach the shop I often find myself inadvertently glancing down to check I’m not wearing trainers.
My method of dealing with its aggressive honking, flapping and neck-wagging is to clap my hands and pretend to laugh at it. In fact, I give it as wide a berth as possible while maintaining some degree of human dignity; its beak is at crotch level and I’m not too keen to get into a fight.
My method of dealing with its aggressive honking, flapping and neck-wagging is to clap my hands and pretend to laugh at it. In fact, I give it as wide a berth as possible while maintaining some degree of human dignity; its beak is at crotch level and I’m not too keen to get into a fight.
Take care, Brit. A goose can break a man's spine with one strike of its wing.
ReplyDeleteOr is that a swan?
ooh yeah, they're right spiky b****rds, geese. My parents have had a couple of them for years and they still won't let anyone anywhere near them. miserable gits.
ReplyDeleteNot that any time is a good time to go near geese but now is a particularly bad time of year to go near geese.
ReplyDeleteBreeding season y'know.
O.S.M. B:52
(verification word 'Gorte')
why is the plural of moose not meese?
ReplyDeleteDo you find yourself instinctively checking your flies as you approach?
ReplyDeleteWhen you say "not dissimilar to" that would be like an albino Kirsty Wark then. No problem, sidle up to it and mutter in it's lug "Pâté de foie gras" that will sort out the squawking bird.
ReplyDeleteMight not work on the goose though.
I wonder what the goose equivalent of not wearing trainers is - try putting on a pair of red diving flippers.
ReplyDeleteYour name's not on the list, you're not coming in. Clear orf.
ReplyDeleteWord verification is "thmaneff", which is, i'm sure, how geese say "fuck off" through their beaks.
A goose can break a man's spine with one strike of it's wing, Willard, but a lady goose can break a gentleman goose's heart with just a glance.
ReplyDelete(Courtesy of Harry Hill)