A thrillingly postmodern concern has been pushing its takeaway menus through the front doors of east Bristol. The 'Bombay Pizza Company' has hit upon the idea of selling classic Anglo-Indian dishes on pizzas. The 'Machlee Masala', for example, comprises balti sauce, masala fish, onions, tomato and coriander, and comes on a 9 or 12-inch dough base. Jalfrezi, rogan josh and even vindaloo pizzas are all available; or you can Build Your Own from a list of toppings including mushroom bhaji, tarka dhall, aloo gobi and mozarella.
The restaurant has apparently been much discussed in Mrs Brit's coven of new mothers. All the wives are, frankly, repulsed. Their husbands, by contrast, unanimously agree that this is a culinary enterprise of unprecedented genius.
I'm with the mothers. That sounds repulsive. I mean, why don't they just put everything in a big bucket and stir it with a stick.
ReplyDelete"I mean, why don't they just put everything in a big bucket and stir it with a stick." But isn't that what restaurants and takeaways do anyway? Paying to eat in a restaurant isn't far off paying someone to top you. Besides, I'm not sure this idea is really international enough. They need to go the extra mile. I'd suggest dipping the pizza base in batter and popping it in the fryer Glasgow stylee, and perhaps adding some French meringues to the whole confection for that exotic, sophisticated touch.
ReplyDeleteDidn't Orwell write that he prefered to eat in a soup kitchen because everything goes into one big pot and isn't fingered by every chef in the house (as he found happens in every French restaurant)?
ReplyDeleteI still want Brit to defend his claim that this is 'unprecedented genius'. These pizza fanatics don't need any more encouragement to push crap through our letter boxes.
I'm not sure whether this is a godawful extension of the longstanding chicken tikka pizza (available at all bad supermarkets) or a more reasonable extension of nan bread into edible receptacle.
ReplyDeleteI suspect it is all a question of perspective. I dare say some Indian connoisseurs were horrified when the British started stewing up 'curries' just like they stewed everything else up.
Mark, I believe that the literal translation of the word 'balti' is bucket. Which explains a lot.
ReplyDeleteMenu multiculturalism is rampant here too. I often see signs for 'Halal Burritos'.
ReplyDeleteDefend it, Willard? You'll be asking me to 'defend' the Sistine Chapel next. Or the hummingbird.
ReplyDeletePS. I've been out all day betting on sheep races. More on that later I expect.
i'm drunk right now and a curry pizza sounds really gooood. and i dont even like spicy food.
ReplyDeleteA Sikh friend of mine (Cameron eat your heart out!) has been doing this for years in his pizza shop. You southerners are sooooo far behind in fast food developments.
ReplyDeleteSo it would appear, Stephen.
ReplyDelete