Friday, March 30, 2007

I refute it thus

So, Think of England gets panned for being nothing more that “watching Brit wrestle every deep philosophical problem through "dunnoism", (which as far as I can tell is defined as ordering another pint, complaining about the English soccer team and watching clips of Amy on YouTube)”.

I would like to protest in the strongest possible terms against this slanderous and unfair critique.

Meanwhile, Boris Johnson argues that the English soccer team is responsible for crushing the academic aspirations of a generation of young working-class men:


It is precisely because so many of our young males have such reverence for football, and identify with footballers, that we need to think anew about the relationship between English football and education, and it is time, as a nation, that we faced a horrendous truth. We just don't seem to be much good. We weren't much good in the World Cup, and we have just had an agonising draw against Israel. For all I know, by the time you read this we will have been thrashed by Andorra, and if manager Steve McClaren keeps his current form, we can expect a run of torrid goalless draws against San Marino, Liechtenstein, Monaco and Luxembourg.

It is time, moreover, that we addressed the crisis, and faced the appalling possibility that there is a correlation between our footballing achievements and our general attitudes to education. Of course this is a nation already suspicious of intellectuals, and there is nothing more hilarious and deplorable than a swot on the pitch.



Is this true? I dunno. But mine’s a Staropramen if they’ve got it, and although sticks and stones may break my bones, my tears will dry on their own.

3 comments:

Brit said...

That's all right then.

Anonymous said...

I'll drink to that!

Harry Eagar said...

He should go back and read one of David Lodge's novels, 'Out of the Shelter,' I think, in which winning the World Cup in '66 made the sun shine even in England.

But I don't blame football. I blame the 11-plus.