Nine and no more

If you ever wanted to see how an incestuous series of blogs can rapidly promulgate a nonsensical meme (and I’m sure that’s an ambition nurtured by most of the populace), here’s a good example.

On the Daily Duck I posted an article decrying the International Astronomers Union’s craven decision to save Pluto’s status as a planet by allowing in all sorts of riff-raff, including some chav of a lump of rock named after a TV show about a Warrior Princess. (And if you think the G8 is pompous enough, they’ve got nothing on the IAU for self-proclaimed importance: these guys meet up to decide the fate of whole galaxies).

This sparked an arcane debate about the definitions of planets and moons, which was picked up on by Susan’s Husband in the comments thread, and subsequently by AOG at Thought Mesh, both of whom introduced a level of technicality far beyond my comprehension.

Fortunately, David on his new Secret Blog proposed an excellent solution: if we upgrade the Moon to planet status, via Isaac Asimov’s Double Planet theory, we can ditch Pluto and all these other piddling pretenders, and keep the numbers in the solar system to a traditional and elite nine: Mercury, Venus, Earth, the Moon, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune and Uranus.

Henceforward you can do your bit for the Keep the Planets to Nine Campaign by always referring to the Moon as a planet in conversation, and I will take care of the highbrow element by lobbying for Clare de Lune by Debussy to be inserted into Holst’s Planets Suite for all future performances.