Bristolian Limericks

On having one’s reading interrupted by the insect-like noise of teenagers riding mopeds up and down the street outside

Now reading The Brothers Karamazov
May not have the razz-a-matazz of
Your glamorous scooters,
With their engines and hooters,
But all the same, do please goddamn buzz off.




A Bristolian* invites his friends for a cheap curry on the night before his wedding

(*a curiosity of the local dialect is the ‘Bristol L’, whereby a superfluous ‘l’ is added to the end of words ending in ‘a’. Most commonly, ‘idea’ becomes ‘ideal’.)

The Taj for a bhunal’s the ideal,
To celebrate the end of an eral,
You don’t pay no extral
For poppadoms, et cetral
(But there is an off chance o’ diarrhoeal).